“A Nightmare on Elm Street” Remake Is Coming For You…

Yes ladies and gents, the guys behind the surprisingly good “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” remake, its inferior sequel, the needless remakes of “The Hitcher” and “The Amityville Horror” and the upcoming remake of “Friday The 13th” are going to remake one of my favorite horror movies of ALL TIME.

Platinum Dunes will be remaking “A Nightmare on Elm Street” and I have very mixed feelings about this. For starters, Robert Englund IS FREDDY. Period. So I can’t see anyone replacing him at all. Second, the original movie still holds up today. Even Heather Langenkamp and Ronee Blakely’s somewhat stilted acting is OK after all these years.

So why fuck with something that worked so well and spawned 6 sequels? (I purposely ignore “Freddy vs Jason” as it was a Jason movie with a Freddy cameo.)

Simple, New Line Cinema is not doing to well. There are no “Lord of the Rings” movies to help it rake in the dough. And their big budget “The Golden Compass” flopped here domestically. So it would make sense for them financially to call on the guy who helped the studio become a big league studio back in the day, Freddy Kreuger. So part of me really wants to believe that they will do right by this project, since Freddy is their main man. And as much as I hated “Freddy vs Jason” it made a lot of money.

So that brings me to my next question. Who would you cast in the “A Nightmare on Elm Street” remake?

When I offered up my suggestions for casting the upcomming “Friday the 13th” remake, I was met with displeasure at the fact that I chose young television actors. And it’s funny because sometimes HARDCORE fans are blinded by their love for a horror franchise. They think because they love the series so much, that the films will garner top notch talent.

I even heard people wanting Johnny Depp for Freddy.

Gimme a break.  

Hiring a name actor like Depp would add 20 million dollars to a project that will probably be made with a 30 million dollar budget. You get “Name” actors and the price of a film skyrockets. Also “Name” actors are less likely to sign on for any sequels.

Finally most “Name” actors will think they are above doing horror films at all. “Friday The 13th” and “A Nightmare on Elm Street” are films that “Name” actors avoid because the films are all about the killer, and not the teens that make up the body count. Sure we would all love Rachel McAdams as Nancy Thompson, but it’s impossible.

If you get under the radar actors from TV who are willing to squeeze in a film during their summer breaks, you will have a movie within a realistic budget. People like to lump all young television actors together and act as if they are all terrible. And there are terrible actors on television. Plenty of them. But there are many good ones too. Sarah Michelle Geller, Kristen Bell, Jessica Beil and even the main man Depp all were TV actors first.

TV actors also bring in their respective fan bases from their shows. So that helps too. A CW/WB star who’s show attracts 3 to 6 million fans a week is an asset to a movie like this. Just because the majority of those fans flock to see the film. I’m sure that “Buffy” fans helped power “The Grudge” to that 40 million dollar opening a few years back.

So getting back to the task at hand. Who can replace Robert Englund?

No one. He will always be the iconic Freddy Kreuger.

But if they really did, I really don’t know who to choose. I would probably think they would want someone in their late 30’s. I think that Eric Dane is someone that can look convincing as a new Freddy Kreuger. And then there is Christopher Meloni who does impressive TV work, he could be a good Freddy. My friend thinks Jonathan Tucker could be a good choice. But again, do we have to recast England? I mean seriously.

But who do you guys think should replace Englund? And be realistic with your choices. Remember that people like Crispin Glover are reportedly difficult to work with. So make sure you choose someone who would realistically seem like they would take this job seriously and return for all 7 sequels. 🙂

What about the character of Nancy and her dad? Leighton Meester and Enrico Colantoni would both look the part. But again, these casting choices will be tough.

Hopefully they get the right folks who can actually ACT. We don’t need any more horrible actors like Kelly Rowland and Monica Keena (From “FvsJ”).

B-

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2 Comments

  1. Fanboys are fucking idiots. Dont pay attention to them. These people shit on anything popular and then make unrealistic choices. As if Johnny Depp would be interested.

    These folks love these movies so much they think that people like Ryan Gosling and Ellen Page will want to come on board. Get real.

    Your F13 picks were good. People who hate on Blake obviously dont know how talented she is. And I’d rather see established American TV stars instead of anonymous Canadian actors.

    And Leighton as Nancy would work. She has a classic American look. Already has proven that she can act. And could totally work as Nancy. And who better to replace Saxon than Keith Mars????

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